This week's “Life and Style” cover story will surely traumatize twi-hards. It promises all the skinny on Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's secret wedding.

However, it seems Pattinson hasn't actually popped the question. The article is just the tabloid letting its imagination run wild, helping the blood-guzzling beloveds put together the perfect union, complete with purple flowers in Kirsten's bouquet and bedazzled sneakers.

In other wedding news, one bachelorette defies the odds while another packs her bags. According to “In Touch,” bachelorette Ashley and her fiancée JP are ready to walk down the aisle and ABC is ready to pay $1 million for the rights.

Meanwhile, Emily and Jef are calling it quits. Sources close to the couple say Jef returned from a Vegas junket to find an angry Emily showing him the door.

In other news, if you can't get enough of the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” pick up “US Weekly.”  Even though part one of the reunion just aired, Teresa is still talking to whoever will listen.  Caroline's daughter, Lauren Manzo, also says Xanax was passed around the set like candy.  That could explain why Jacqueline told the mag she found the reunion show "exhausting."

Finally, in “People” magazine, a blast from the past blasts off some weight.  90210 star Jennie Garth shares how she lost 30 pounds and got her life back. She also dishes the details on the end of her 11-year marriage to actor Peter Facinelli, saying she's shedding the negative space out of her life.